Holidays Without Them: How to Cope With Grief
Grief doesn’t take a holiday. In fact, during the holiday season, grief can become overwhelming after the loss of a loved one. Even an emotional loss, such as the loss of a relationship, can trigger grief. The realization that this year will be different, that there will be a void you can’t fill, and that things will never be the same are natural responses. Navigating these emotions and finding comfort, however, are necessary for your mental health.
There’s no easy fix when dealing with loss. Healing may take years. There are, however, some do’s and don’ts you should follow in order to honor your emotions and support yourself.
Don’t force it.
- Consider moderation. Grieving is tiring. Give yourself permission to say no to an invitation, opt out of an event, or leave a party early.
- If holiday observances seem inauthentic right now, don’t force yourself to celebrate. Instead, use this time to connect with a support group, a therapist, a faith community, or friends who understand.
Don’t ignore it.
- Acknowledge your pain. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgement. Feelings that go unacknowledged and unexpressed often build up and, especially during the stress of the holiday season, can explode.
- Embrace memories. Many people want to change everything about the holidays to avoid sad feelings, but remembering your loved ones is a healthy way to include and honor them. You may want to continue a tradition that was especially important to them. Or you could start a new tradition in their memory. It can be simple, such as having their favorite dessert every year.
Do acknowledge and address it.
- Be aware of what is happening to you and make a special effort to take care of yourself. Stay active, eat healthy (as best you can during the holidays), be in nature, get enough sleep.
- As much as possible, let your loved ones know how they can support you, whether it’s helping you with shopping or meeting up for a regular walk. Tell them what you need as specifically as possible. Often, people want to help but don’t know what to say or where to start.
Grief is normal and natural. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming, and you may experience a variety of unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Traci Sisney, Regional Clinical Officer at GRAND Mental Health sums it up like this.