Supporting a Loved One With Holiday Depression
The holiday season brings joy to some, but for others, it can trigger stress, depression, anxiety, and more. The pressure to socialize and attend numerous get-togethers, the expectations of maintaining traditions, the financial strain of gift-giving, the tension of navigating family dynamics … it can all be overwhelming. As friends and family, we need to be able to recognize potential signs of mental health concerns and offer support.
Recognizing the signs.
“Each person’s experience with mental health is unique and the signs a loved one might be struggling can vary widely,” says [Matthew Spencer, Chief Clinical Officer, GRAND Mental Health ]. “Changes in behavior, emotions, and social activities are often indicators of a mental health issue than should be addressed.”
Signs to watch for include:
Behavioral
- Significant changes in appetite and eating habits.
- Significant changes in sleep.
- Increased fatigue.
- A sustained increase or decrease in motivation.
- Substance use (new use or increased/resumed use).
Emotional
- Increased negativity.
- Comments of overwhelming anxiety.
- Unusual irritability or agitation.
- New or increased passive aggressive behavior.
- Increased sadness.
Social
- Withdrawal from friends, family, and social groups.
- Loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed.
- Sudden lack of text messages or returning phone calls.
- Sending texts or notes with a concerning tone.
- Increased absences from school or work.
Starting the conversation.
Help and support starts with a conversation. Approaching a loved one about their mental state, however, needs to be handled with care. They may be in denial of their feelings, embarrassed that you’ve noticed, or even defensive about the subject. To convey your genuine concern and willingness to support them:
- Express your concern in a non-confrontational manner.
- Use “I” statements such as “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed down lately, and I’m concerned about you.”
- Actively listen by fully concentrating on what they mean, not just the words they say.
- Validate their feelings, letting them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or stressed during the holidays.
- Don’t try to fix their problems.
Starting the conversation is key. Listening and showing empathy can help make your loved one feel understood and less alone. Offering practical support can also help by alleviating the stress they are feeling. You can lessen their workload by assisting with holiday preparations or by suggesting and planning low-key, stress-free activities. Suggest activities that are known to boost their mood such as watching their favorite movie or taking a walk. Encourage regular routines and healthy habits during the holiday season but also respect their decision to opt out of certain events or traditions. The important thing is to provide options and allow them to guide their level of participation.
When to encourage professional help.
Every situation is different, but if you feel your loved one needs more support than you can provide, professional help may be beneficial.
“It’s important to approach suggesting professional help gently, without judgement,” adds Spencer “Let them know that seeking help is a sign of strength. Therapy or a support group is an important step toward self-care that can be a positive turning point in their life.”
It may be beneficial to offer to help them find professional support. However, don’t push. It is important for them to make the decision and control the pace at which they seek help.